Jack Sprocket and his mother are about to be evicted from their cottage by the ghastly new Mayor Newmunny and his sugar-addicted daughter, Violet Elizabeth. Things aren't made any better by the local youths, the Dunghill Lane Gang, hanging around and causing trouble. The Widow's appeal to the European Court of Human Gripes meets with no success, so to raise enough money to pay their back rent Jack sells the family cow, but he only gets some beans in return. However, once planted, the beans grow into a beanstalk which leads Jack to the Magic Kingdom, and the castle of the evil Ogre...

Cast:

Jack Sprocket
Widow Sprocket, his mother
Mayor Osbert Newmunny
Mrs Dyspepsia Newmunny, the Mayoress
Miss Violet Elizabeth Newmunny, their daughter
Alderman Feebles
Miss Jemima Feebles, his daughter
Constable Painting
Constable Plod
The Ogre
Mrs Ogre, his wife
The Dunghill Lane Gang: Arthur Asbo, Jessie Joyrider, Harry Hoodie
The Pedlar
Gertrude the Cow
Voice of the Harp
Chorus of villagers and rats

Scenes:
Act one
Scene one: Dunghill lane, outside Widow Sprocket’s cottage
Scene two : the same
Scene three: the same
Scene four: the same, the next morning
Scene five: the Magic Kingdom
Scene six: the Ogre’s Castle
Scene seven: Dunghill Lane 

Act two
Scene one: Dunghill Lane
Scene two: the same, later that evening
Scene three: the Magic Kingdom
Scene four: the Ogre’s Castle
Scene five: Violet Elizabeth's bedroom
Scene six: Dunghill Lane
Scene seven: the Magic Kingdom
Scene eight: the Ogre’s Castle
Scene nine: the Magic Kingdom
Scene ten: Dunghill Lane

Violet Elizabeth’s bedroom. Violet Elizabeth in bed centre, with Mayor sl and Mayoress sr of bed. 

MAYOR (reading)’…and so Sleeping Beauty never woke up, and the Wicked Queen lived happily after. The end. Did you enjoy that my dearest?

VIOLET ELIZABETH Yes, I did I did I did! The bestest bit was when Sleeping Beauty did eat the poisonded apple, and did drop down dead, and when the rotten old prince did get all blindeded by thorns. Ha. Ha. Ha !

MAYOR Erm, yes, that was nice wasn’t it. Now off you go to sleepyland.

VIOLET ELIZABETH Tell me another, tell me another!

MAYOR No, dear, you’ve already had five stories. It’s time for beddy byes.

VIOLET ELIZABETH (shouting) I want another story! I want another story! If you don’t tell me another story, I’ll tell mummy that you beated me up and you’ll get locked in a big prison!

MAYOR No, it’s time for bed. If you don’t go to sleep this instant, I won’t let you have any fizzy pop or sweets for breakfast. 

VIOLET ELIZABETH Not fair! Not fair! 

Mayoress enters sl

MAYORESS What is all this shouting. Osbert, are you being cruel to my darling daughter again?

MAYOR Our darling daughter, dearest. 

MAYORESS Ahem…er, yes, that’s what I meant. What’s the matter my little ray of sunshine?

VIOLET ELIZABETH Daddy won’t read me any more stories. He’s horrid!

MAYORESS But Daddy and mummy have a lot of work to do to get rid of the horrible old lady next door. Now, here’s a lollypop (gives big lollypop) now you go off to sleep.

MAYOR But she’s just brushed her teeth!

MAYORESS Don’t worry, it’s peppermint flavour. Now come along. Off to the land of nod.

Mayor and mayoress get up to depart. 

VIOLET ELIZABETH I know something about that horrible old lady next door that you don’t know. I know where she did get all her gold from.

MAYORESS (intrigued) Oh yes…?

MAYOR Well come on then, out with it!

VIOLET ELIZABETH I’ll only tell if you read me more stories!

MAYOR Oh, alright – but you’d better not be telling tales about people again. Remember when she told everyone that her Sunday school teacher was a witch?

MAYORESS Well, yes, but people saw the funny side of it eventually. 

MAYOR Only after they burnt her at the stake!

MAYORESS Now then dear. Where did the Widow Sprocket get her gold? 

VIOLET ELIZABETH Jack climbed up that big weed thing in their garden and brought back a magic hen that lays golden eggs. 

MAYOR I told you! She’s making it all up! It’s really time we put her back on those tablets. 

MAYORESS  Certainly not! My…I mean our daughter is a gifted child and doesn’t make things up. That big weed thing…ah, you mean that horrible beanstalk in the garden. Right. (she gets up to go) Come along Osbert, we’re climbing up it. If there’s gold up there, we’re having some too. 

MAYOR But, but it’s the middle of the night!

VIOLET ELIZABETH Aren’t you forgetting something? What about my story?

MAYORESS Oh, fiddlesticks to your stupid story! Shut up and go to sleep you little wretch! (Violet Elizabeth begins to scream) And you can stop that racket! (she pushes the lollypop into Violet Elizabeth’s mouth. She sulks). Now come on Osbert. If there’s a magic hen that  produces golden eggs, then there’s some laying to do!

MAYOR (enthusiastically) But you said you had a headache. 

MAYORESS Oh shut up and get moving!

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